Showing my geekiness one day at a time....

Things that are meant to be in your future will stay in your future. No matter what happens or goes wrong.

As my semester winds down I look at the sacrifices I have made. I decided to take 5 classes, not a lot, but more than I’ve ever had. I also took a job 45 minutes away from my temporary home, not my wisest decision, which took a lot of my time. It proved to be more stressful than any semester I have ever had, but my last full semester nonetheless. The sacrifices I made were with my friends, family, and someone I love. I asked for patience and time, at first this was given, but later was met with hesitation and allegations. They said I didn’t care because I made no effort to communicate, its not that I made no effort its just sometimes there would be no time. I started to get so caught up in work and school nothing else mattered. Sleep even became somewhat of a chore and felt like a waste of time, time I could spend perfecting projects, papers, or studying. The constant, what felt like nagging, became unbearable and I started to tune it out. While acting like I was listening I would catch up on reading or finish homework. I would try to reassure them that this was only temporary, but was still met with allegations. When a crisis would pop up I would try and help, but with the advice, opinions, or help I would give it still wasn’t enough or the “right” thing to do/say. So I just gave-up and walked away. Was it the right thing to do? No, but sadly I saw no other option, finals were nearing and the stress I had from classes, work, and having to find a new home were all I could handle. This source of stress looked like the only one I could cut off, so I did what I felt at the time had to be done. Will I look back and regret this, probably, but I will not cry because I lost them. I’m not trying to point fingers or place any blame I know what went wrong and what I should have done, but no point in dwelling on it. I have enough “What if’s” in my life as it is. So I will look back on the lessons I have learned and dust myself off. I know I am a good person, I have my faults, but we all do, and I am trying to improve on them. No matter what has happened or happens I will always get up, step outside, breath, and SMILE.